Stop Oiling Your Church's Squeaky Wheels
Learn to honor those who minister, not those who demand it
Church members notice whom the pastor chooses to spend time with. They appreciate pastors ministering to the chronic dependents, but they lose respect if the emotionally needy or the "squeaky wheels" are able to dominate. Worse, they begin to assume the pastor is the designated minister, and valuable opportunities for building an active lay ministry are lost. A breeding ground for dragons begins to develop. Even if the solid, ministering lay people are not taken for granted, often they aren't given the time they deserve.
"One of the things that surprised me when I entered the pastorate was that people felt they had to have a problem to talk to me," says a Denver pastor. "All I heard was 'Pastor, I don't know what to do,' and the healthy, productive people never made appointments because they felt I was too busy."
This pastor has since let the church know he no longer does extended counseling. "I'm available to see anyone for counseling once," he says. "After that, I refer them to a professional or one of our trained lay counselors. This still keeps me available to everyone and keeps me in touch with individual hurts, but it's freed me to spend those hours with ministry-minded people strategizing how to start a new ministry or do an old one better."
He's also discovered it helps in dragon prevention. The respected people in the congregation are not the self-appointed critics but the doers. Initiative is encouraged. Because of the pastor's time priorities, newcomers to the church soon learn that the church's attitude toward new lay ministries is: Better to have tried and failed than never to have tried at all.
—Marshall Shelley, from “Well-Intentioned Dragons: Dealing with Problem People in the Church” (Bethany House, and also available at the Christianity Today Library)
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Comments
This article makes some good points. Thank you for sharing it.
Posted by: Camey | November 6, 2007 4:42 PM
Well said Man of God, could not have been said any better. Thanks for the great advice, it is very much appreciated and will be used in the course of our Ministry at our church. Amen, Amen and Amen!!! Can I have a witness up in here?? :-)
Posted by: Rax | November 6, 2007 8:13 PM
Even Jesus used the twelve apostles to do what He couldn't get to. Creating leaders that take the load off the pastor, yet having the pastor available accomplishes more than the pastor ever could. Great article!
Posted by: Sheri | November 8, 2007 1:38 PM
Very interesting article with some great points. Whenever we can, we respond to the demanders with a loving challenge for them to step up and be part of the solution for whatever they are complaining about. Every once in a while we get to see a demander transformed into a minister. Now that is someone I would gladly honor!
Posted by: Peggy | November 11, 2007 7:16 PM
Spending our time with the squeaky wheels of the church keep us from ministering to the whole church. Thanks for sharing the info.
Posted by: Mark | November 11, 2007 9:14 PM
In this day and age of part-time, tentmaking, and shared pastors
due to small church sizes and incomes, it is definitely a plus for
the pastor or governing body to develop the lay leadership for ministry
to the members of their congregations. The early home churches were
lay led and our country's "circuit rider" tradition certainly must have
depended on a strong local laity ministry.
Karen
Posted by: Karen | November 12, 2007 2:17 AM
Investing our time in others is what God calls us to do, and investing that time in others who can in turn go out and invest their time in others is exactly what Jesus did. The fact that the 12 modeled their behavior after Jesus is why we are able to worship in His name today. Consider Paul and Timothy. Paul could have spent significant time with the "cranky," as we call them. But instead he invested time in another who could replicate his ministry for the world around them, doubling his ability to reach the lost. We must do the same today, focus on those who can spread the Word and enlarge the kingdom. While all congregational members have a voice, helping them learn the right voice to use is an important part of leading a church or ministry.
Posted by: Patti | November 12, 2007 7:01 AM