Off the Agenda: Conversations for Building Church Leaders

The close of 2007 brought the close of two eras Sunday in the Chicago area. Two churches with histories of more than 100 years each shuttered because of dwindling attendance.

Today's Chicago Tribune spotlighted the sad tales in its Metro section, chronicling the final services at the Church of the Mediator, a 129-year-old Episcopalian congregation on the city's South Side. The very end of the article also mentioned the end for St. Paul's Community Church, founded 115 years ago by Norwegian Lutherans.

Perhaps the saddest aspect of the story came from the parish leader of Church of the Mediator. "We weren't ever able to build up a young congregation again. People leave. Many families die out," Mary Reich told the Chicago Tribune. The article continued: "Reich said church members debated closing as early as 1980."

Twenty-seven years of wondering about closure, of wondering what to do to try and draw new attenders.

On a positive note, not all is glum for old churches in the Chicago area. A stand-alone photo and caption in the same edition of the Chicago Tribune spotlighted the 150th anniversary of the Holy Family Catholic Church, which hosted an open house featuring antiques from the church's history. Not only has the house of worship made it this long--it managed to survive the 1871 Chicago Fire, which destroyed much of the city.

I came across an interesting article the other day—one that I think captures a brief but powerful case study of the importance of mentoring in terms of personal and spiritual growth. Here’s an excerpt:

Every morning, Devin Hester receives an inspirational text message from his idol and friend, Deion Sanders. Hester certainly needed encouragement following the death of former Miami Hurricanes teammate Sean Taylor.

Hester … attended Taylor’s funeral Monday in Miami. Sanders came to practice Tuesday, preparing for his sideline coverage of the upcoming Bears-Redskins game. But Sanders also made himself available in case Hester needed more support.

“When he’s dealing with something that’s heavy on his heart, he’ll send me a text,” Sanders said. “He sent me a text last week telling me it was hard to come to practice knowing Sean would never be at practice again.”

If you’re confused by some of the names and terms here, let me explain. This excerpt was originally published in the Chicago Tribune. It refers to a unique relationship that has developed between two of the most exciting players to set foot in the National Football League during the last 20 years: Devin Hester and Deion “Prime Time” Sanders.

If you’re not a football fan, I’ll let you know that Sanders is a retired NFL legend known for his extreme speed and flamboyant style. Hester is a young player—currently finishing his second season with the Chicago Bears—who electrified fans by setting an NFL record for return touchdowns in 2006, his rookie year.

As a rookie, Hester mentioned in an interview that he had idolized Deion Sanders as a child. Upon hearing this, Sanders contacted the young player and took him under his wing, so to speak. They have enjoyed a close relationship ever since.

With that in mind, take another look at the newspaper excerpt above. Here are some things that stood out to me:

Continue reading "Deion Sanders, Devin Hester, and Mentoring"...

Last summer, a friend of mine walked away from the church because he felt like his struggle with homosexuality was a non-issue for his church. There was no confrontation that pushed him away—hardly anyone at his church even knew his situation. But it was an overwhelming feeling that the church had no need to acknowledge this struggle.

Like many, this friend began to rethink his sexuality during college, questioning his assumptions, accepting certain facets of who he felt himself to be, and basking in diversity and acceptance. When he came home on breaks, he entered into a strange world. Home and church life tied directly to the person he “used” to be. And college was his comfort zone, the place where he could ask the serious questions about identity.

After a few years of hearing that his primary identity resided in his status as a marginalized homosexual, he graduated college, came home, and began to think again about what it meant to be gay. For the first time, he had to do it on his own.

This is where the church failed him—at this stage, he was questioning and willing to listen, but the silence and oversimplification got to him. He heard people say “the Bible is clear about homosexuality.” Mostly, however, while he was in this stage and willing to talk, he heard nothing. A few months ago, he moved out of state for a job; church became a thing of the past.

Silence and oversimplification are perhaps the two biggest threats to our outreach to men and women who struggle with questions of sexual orientation. College campuses, on the other hand, stand at the opposite end of the spectrum, hosting open discussions of gender and sexuality, and willingly engaging people at whatever level they reside.

Let me suggest that gender studies programs, and sociology and psychology courses, are offering a kind of “pastoral care” to young people today. This ought not to be.

Continue reading "It’s Not About Gay Rights"...

On Friday, Amy Simpson wrote a post on our sister blog, www.giftedforleadership.com, about a leader's responsibility to those they lead. Her insights were too good not to share on Off the Agenda:

As a leader, it's easy to understand and embrace your responsibility for those entrusted to your leadership. But how often do you think about your responsibility to lead your leaders? Try these 10 strategies for exercising your leadership skills in relationship to those who lead you.

1. Pray for them. This is pretty self-explanatory. Everyone needs prayer, and people in leadership often need extra doses of God’s wisdom.

2. Care about them. Sometimes we’re so intimidated by our leaders, or eager to get their feedback, that we forget they’re real people with real lives and challenges. Think about ways to encourage your leaders. Ask them how they’re doing and how you can serve them.

3. Make them look good. Servant leadership means supporting others in their efforts. Instead of giving in to the temptation to undermine leaders when their weaknesses show, find ways to compensate for their shortcomings.

Continue reading "Leading Your Leaders"...

The Billings Gazette, Montana's largest daily newspaper (with a weekday circulation of about 47,000), mentions BuildingChurchLeaders.com in today's edition.

The paper ran an article about local churches and their discussions regarding security after the recent shootings in Colorado.

The Rev. Stan Simmons, pastor of Faith Chapel, one of Billings' two largest churches, said his staff met Wednesday and discussed security concerns using an article written this summer by Andrew Mills, a police lieutenant with the San Diego (California) Police Department, for BuildingChurchLeaders.com and LeadershipJournal.net.

Mills' piece addresses such topics as working with local police, training ushers and greeters, developing a lockdown plan, and how to respond if a shooting event unfolds. An abbreviated version of Mills' article still is available on LeadershipJournal.net. The full version will be included in an upcoming Building Church Leaders training download for ushers and greeters.

If you missed it, check out Chris Blumhofer's December 11 post on Off the Agenda. It highlights other free resources from BuildingChurchLeaders.com, including ways to help others grieve the tragic events in Colorado, as well as steps churches can take to better prepare for crisis situations.

Last spring a man came to see me. It was the beginning of Lent, the original “40 Days of Purpose-Filled Repentance.”

“Pastor,” he said, “I want to confess my sins.” And in tears, he spoke honestly and openly about the sin in his life—nothing illegal, most known only to him, yet serious, and he was serious about turning away from it. We talked and prayed together, and he left.

Forty days later, he came back. “How are you doing?” I asked. “How is God at work in your life?”

He looked down. “I haven’t made much progress,” he admitted. “I still struggle with what we talked about before.”

As I watched a tear slowly trickle down the center of his cheek, I saw in his agony a question I’ve often asked: “Why does sin so stubbornly remain in our lives? He and I both want to change more than we have and more than we do. How come?”

I’ve heard many answers, ranging from “You just haven’t gotten serious enough about turning away from your sin,” (which doesn’t always seem the case) to “You need an experience of greater or entire sanctification,” to “You need an accountability partner,” to “You need to let go and let God.” All helpful, to a point, but they didn’t seem to pastorally fit this man hunched over in front of me.

As church leaders, we work with people feeling overcome by persistent sin—and we experience that in our own lives. What help or counsel should we give, starting with ourselves?

During the summer, I read several books, and unexpectedly, they spoke to this question. Their answer was not what I expected; in fact, it was the opposite of what I expected.

Continue reading "Why Does Sin Remain in My Life?"...

My wife and I read Psalm 74 last night. It was a strange choice—a break from Advent passages about anticipating Christ’s coming. One particular phrase lodged itself in our minds: “Have regard for your covenant, for the dark places of the land are full of the haunts of violence.”

Our minds went first to Rwanda, a country that lives in the shadow of a genocide that killed nearly a million people. My wife, Stephanie, spent time living in Rwanda. She understands better than most the cry for God that goes up from people who are weary of violence. It is a cry that goes up from Darfur and Sudan, Yugoslavia, Kashmir, and many other places. This week, it is a cry that goes up close to home—from Colorado.

Continue reading "Comfort in a Time of Despair"...

“Mentoring,” says the late Fred Smith Sr. in his book Leading with Integrity, “is back in favor again, like a wonderful old story that hasn’t been told for so long it sounds new.”

Then he succinctly explains the danger of that dynamic.

“In some ways it has taken on the characteristics of a fad; if too much is expected too soon, it will fail.”

Much like Smith, I have listened in recent years to the growing chorus of voices insisting younger people like me need a mentor, an individual who can listen and provide sage wisdom to me in my faith, my marriage, my parenting, my career, and my leadership. Almost all of those messages have come at me as I sit in the pews of the churches I’ve attended. Unfortunately, none of these churches effectively found ways to orchestrate meaningful mentoring relationships between older and younger congregants.

It’s a question I’ve chewed on in recent months as I begin the journey of finding a mentor in my own life. How can churches help people connect in ways that lead to mentoring relationships? I fear we lose an opportunity to recover a once-prized practice if, as Smith asserts, our talk doesn’t translate into results.

For mentoring to work, the message, and supporting environment, must be intentionally focused on building a culture of mentorship. I’m not suggesting churches play the role of matchmaker, arbitrarily pairing people up and hoping they become tight-knit confidantes. That’s absurd. But most of the current formula isn’t working.

Continue reading "Create a Culture of Mentorship"...

Many communities struggle with a shortage of public space in which to hold meetings, events, and offer education. These communities often view local churches and their facilities as accessible and welcoming places that meet their needs. When it comes to such use, however, church leaders often are challenged to develop consistent facility policies and practices. Yet careful building use can be an excellent form of congregational stewardship, providing hospitality and, in some cases, evangelistic opportunities.

Five factors demonstrate why churches need up-to-date policies and practices on facility use.

Continue reading "Wisely Managing Use of the Building"...

It was 2:45 p.m., and my son, Cameron, and I were lost and already 15 minutes late for a birthday party for his 7-year-old friend. True to the male stereotype, I was bent on finding my way without directional assistance. Convinced that he was missing crucial elements of the party, Cameron piped up and pleaded, “Dad, stop and get directions! If you had asked somebody for help as soon as we got lost we could have been there by now.”

My 7-year-old had just taught me an important lesson in leadership. The I’ll-find-my-way-on-my-own attitude can impair your ability to navigate effectively, and the situation gets worse the longer you dig your heels in. Whether in a car or a leadership role, openness to input can get you where you want to go faster than figuring it out on your own.

The phrase “I don’t know” should be a staple of every leader’s vocabulary. To think that you have the answers for every leadership situation you’re faced with is unrealistic. Take advantage of the varying knowledge base and experience of those around you. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help now and then. Being closed to input destines us to the limited outcome of what we can think up, problem solve, or achieve on our own.

I see this a lot in my role at Leadership Transformations. We have a church health assessment that allows leaders to do their own “church health check up” over the internet and get feedback from the entire congregation and leadership team. In one month, leaders can gather feedback as to how their ministry is going, all with minimal effort from the church staff.

Whenever I mention this concept to a pastor, I can tell within a couple sentences of his response if he’s the type of leader who is open to feedback or not.

Continue reading "Directionally Impaired Leadership"...