Off the Agenda: Conversations for Building Church Leaders

Newsweek recently interviewed Anglican bishop N.T. Wright. Whether or not you have an opinion on our brother from the U.K., one thing is clear in Wright’s work: he does his work with a pastor’s heart.

A few quotes from the Newsweek interview stand out, especially since Wright spends much of his time speaking to people who would call themselves Christians (as, I suspect, many of us do too).

As you read on, note how Wright’s view of the resurrection sees it as literal, historical, relevant, and comprehensive to every aspect of life. Such a view can transform and inspire ministry. May it do so more and more in each of ours!

The full interview (well worth the read if you’re into this kind of thing) can be accessed here.

NEWSWEEK: When you talk about the resurrection, are you telling people something they haven't heard before?

N. T. Wright: Usually, yes. People have been told so often that resurrection is just a metaphor, and means Jesus died and was glorified—in other words, he went to heaven, whatever that means. And they've never realized that the word resurrection simply didn't mean that. If people [in the first century] had wanted to say he died and went to heaven, they had perfectly good ways of saying that.

What does the resurrected body look like?
The analogy that I use is this: if you are with somebody who is very sick, you say, "Poor old so-and-so, he's just a shadow of his former self." He's still recognizable as the same person. Who we are at the moment is just a shadow of our future selves. There's a real you, a real me, which will one day be there and we'll say, "My goodness, you're looking well." There's a sense of "like but more than."

How do you reconcile your orthodox theology with your progressive politics?
…The resurrection gives you a sense of what God wants to do for the whole world, and it gives the church the courage to say, "God's new world has actually begun already." The church can then say to the powers that be, whether it's George W. Bush or Gordon Brown or the United Nations, "We are urging you to do justice, and we're going to hold your feet to the fire and go on reminding you when you're getting it wrong and congratulating you when you're getting it right."

I’m going to attempt to paraphrase a story I heard at a small-groups conference a little over a year ago, so please bear with me. The speaker was Randy Frazee. The story centered on Frazee’s first attempt at small-group ministry as the senior pastor of a large church in the suburbs of Fort Worth, Texas.

Being the senior pastor, Frazee wanted to make sure that his small group was an example of excellence for the rest of the church to follow. So after much prayer and deliberation, he and his wife invited the most spiritual couple in the church to serve as co-leaders, and then the most athletic, most attractive, most intelligent, and most wealthy couples to round out the group. They called it their “Super Small Group.”

The only problem was that the couples’ homes were spread out, which meant that Frazee and his wife had to travel between 25 and 40 minutes each way to get to their group meeting every week. About this time, however, Frazee’s new next-door neighbor—a real whiz at hospitality and socializing—began organizing regular get-togethers within the neighborhood. Consequently, Frazee’s Super Small Group became less and less appealing in light of what was happening in his own backyard.

He described one specific occasion when the next-door neighbor set up a street-wide potluck event. The evening of this event happened to coincide with the meeting time of the Super Small Group. Frazee described his sense of loss as he and his wife pulled out of their driveway and watched children playing kickball in the street, men playing horseshoes across a front lawn, families gathered together over steaming plates of fried chicken and cool glasses of lemonade, and so on.

It was a great story, and I’m sure I haven’t done it justice here. But that was when I first began to ask myself the question: When does a small group become just another meeting? When does a small group cross the line between supportive community and draining obligation? How do you know when it’s time to go?

Continue reading "When Is a Small Group ‘Just Another Meeting’?"...

A church in our area recently dealt with a situation that made me think harder about the way many congregations approach adult Sunday school.

This church of about 150 people gathers for a worship service first, then breaks into age-specific classes afterward. A few months ago, a group of young mothers in the church found themselves loitering together in the church lobby. They wound up spending the entire Sunday school hour sharing updates on life and providing encouragement, without children around to interrupt.

The following week, the women found themselves in the lobby for the impromptu meeting. And then again the next week. And the next. Some momentum began to build.

But in a church of about 150 people, it didn’t take long for others to notice. And this is where I found myself challenged by the ways church leaders typically approach adult Christian education.

Continue reading "Pondering the Question of Adult Education"...

I know a thing or two about living in the parsonage.

As a pastor’s kid, I spent 10 years living in the house next door to the church. And later, as a youth pastor’s wife, I spent a few more living in a bubble that may as well have been a parsonage.

The thing about the parsonage, in my experience, is that many church members consider it their property and figure they can come and go as they please. And the bubble is similar. For some reason, many people feel free to take great liberties with the personal boundaries of church staff and their families.

Why is this? Is it because people believe that those who dedicate their lives to ministry automatically surrender their sense of self? Do they believe God grants special grace to church workers, overcoming their need for downtime? Is it because people who contribute money to the church figure they’re paying the salaries and therefore are the bosses?

Continue reading "So Many Bosses"...

Practices vary for church leaders seeking to hear God’s call. The most radical method is "the lot," used by many Anabaptists since their early days in Europe. This method of discernment, taken from the example of the eleven disciples in Acts 1, is still practiced today by most Amish and a few Mennonite groups.

When a church needs a leader, they hear a sermon (Titus 1 or 1 Timothy 3) on the necessary qualifications. Then each member submits the name of one person from the congregation who meets those criteria.

Anyone receiving three or more votes is given the opportunity to decline but otherwise enters the lottery. If, say, five names remain, then five hymn books (or Bibles) are taken outside the room and a slip of paper, on which is written the words of Acts 1:24 or Proverbs 16:33, is placed in one of them.

The books are brought back into the room and placed on a table. Each of the five individuals picks one book. The one whose book contains the paper becomes the leader! The chosen one (and family) often weeps because of the solemn and unsought responsibility, and the dramatic sense of God's calling.

Continue reading "Exploring "The Call""...

I have this cartoon strip coming together in my mind. It has three frames: Frame 1: A well-dressed man—your stereotypical church leader—is taking in a worship service. His wife is sitting next to him. The congregation is standing, hands raised, praising with all their might. A guitarist is on the platform leading the singing. The only people sitting are the man and his spouse. As she looks on, he leans over and says, “I hear you can induce a trance if you sing repetitive phrases over and over…” She ignores him.

Frame 2: The sermon. With a Bible in one hand, the pastor proclaims, “…and we know this is true because God said it to us in his Word!” Again, the churchgoing man whispers to his wife, “You know, we can’t even be sure that exact line was in Paul’s original letter.” Her face shows the beginnings of a frown.

Frame 3: The churchgoing man now is in heaven. He is touring the New Jerusalem Museum of Original Manuscripts. A placard on the wall tells us he is reading the original text of Romans. His finger traces the words of chapter 1, verse 29—“They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, cynicism, skepticism, and malice.”

“Cynicism… skepticism,” he thinks with a guilty look on his face, “I’m sure glad those got lost in translation!”

Off to the side, his (former) wife is talking to Paul. “Why did that not make it into our Bibles?” she asks.

“Something about not testing us beyond what we could bear,” the apostle replies.

*************

I’ll admit that all blog posts are slightly autobiographical if you’ll admit that this is one of the constant struggles of serving in the church. We spend so much time around the work of God that we risk losing the wonder and a sense of the holiness of it all.

There are myriad ways to combat cynicism. I think we need to recover the ability to laugh about it (note: I did not say we should laugh at each other). Cynicism is pitiful—a bad attitude masquerading as thoughtful elitism. But it’s a poisonous defense mechanism. It gives Satan a huge foothold at the highest levels of church leadership.

If laughing at it will help us to admit the truth—that we’re tempted to deny the holiness of the things we deal in, and even though we continue to struggle, we know that cynicism is ridiculous—then may our churches be filled with laughter.

How do you combat cynicism and skepticism?

This week, BuildingChurchLeaders.com and some of our sister sites are joining to think seriously about Scripture. An exciting foray into this topic begins with an interactive assessment: The Hermeneutics Quiz, by Scot McKnight. This quiz will give you an insightful perspective into the way in which you interpret Scripture.

For other considerations, read Scot's article on the Leadership website, or dive into the post below.

A church’s ability to minister to people hinges on its confidence in the Word of God. A low-confidence church can’t teach or preach or serve with any real sense of expectation. It can’t profess assurance that God speaks or that listening for his voice is worthwhile. A high-confidence church lives in another reality: a realm in which God speaks and acts, calls and sends.

The divide here isn’t a clear-cut, liberal-conservative issue. It isn’t an issue that can be dealt with primarily on an institutional level. Confidence in the Word of God is intensely personal. The question is this: do you believe that God speaks?

How we answer that question determines more about our ministry than almost any other. If the answer is yes, that we are high-confidence believers, then we can ask God to bend, shape, and teach us. If the answer is no, then our low-confidence answer should prompt a question: why is this God worth serving.

Continue reading "Listening to God's Word"...

In mid-January, the Wall Street Journal published an article about church discipline, choosing for its focus a case in which a 71-year-old woman was expelled from her congregation. The article made almost no use of concepts that are central to church discipline—redemption, unity, and discipleship. Almost immediately, a small niche of the blog world erupted at the overwhelmingly negative portrayal of discipline. A few secular blogs picked up on the article, too, and they used it to bolster cynicism.

Off the Agenda decided to take the opportunity to address and to expand upon the core issue brought up in the article—how leaders and congregants can survive the pitfalls of conflict. In the following article, Ken Sande, president of Peacemaker Ministries and a member of Building Church Leaders’ Ask the Experts panel, explains several steps that leaders can take to avoid destructive conflict. This article first appeared on Peacemaker’s website:

Every year hundreds of churches and ministries are thrown into turmoil when someone criticizes or raises serious questions about the conduct of a pastor or ministry executive. All too many of these situations end in resignation, dishonor, or division—usually because those who are responsible for addressing the allegations commit one of two major errors.

Continue reading "Holding Leaders Accountable"...

When our small staff (of two) met for a long-term planning and goals review, my colleague was visibly stressed. She said, "My whole life is church. I'm drained, rather than energized, by ministry. I want to be able to go home without thinking about work all the time."

We talked about delegating some of her duties. But she was already delegating effectively. Then we talked about her schedule. She produced a "to do" list with 64 items on it. No wonder she felt pressured!

Her list included everything from meetings and telephone calls to recruiting ministry volunteers and revising ministry positions. With the help of another set of eyes, she realized some of the duties could be delegated. But it still left an intimidating list and an incredible mess on her monthly planner.

Eventually we arrived at a simple but effective way of keeping priorities straight and burdens in perspective.

Continue reading "Is Your "To Do's" List Too Long?"...

The number one reason that pastors leave their ministries is “wives issues,” according to a 2007 Time magazine article. I would take some comfort in that statistic—that the number one reason they leave isn’t sexual sin or burnout—but the Bible teaches that neglecting an obligation to care for family is its own form of moral failure. (Here I’m thinking of Ephesians 5, but I don’t think Jesus is far from this in the beginning of Matthew 15, either.)

Up until last July, I doubted the prevalence of stress placed on pastors’ spouses. But when we launched a Survival Guide entitled “Help for the Pastor’s Spouse,” and it became one of our most popular downloads, I had to admit that the stress was more common than I ever expected. For a succinct understanding of why, consider the opening paragraph from that Time article:

HELP WANTED: Pastor's wife. Must sing, play music, lead youth groups, raise seraphic children, entertain church notables, minister to other wives, have ability to recite Bible backward and choreograph Christmas pageant. Must keep pastor sated, peaceful and out of trouble. Difficult colleagues, demanding customers, erratic hours. Pay: $0.

Yes, it’s a cynical view of the role—or vocation—of a pastor’s spouse. But it rings true for many ministry wives, and it drives many of them to create networks on the internet and beyond.

These networks build themselves around the pain points (and, to a lesser extent, the shared joys) of marriage to a minister. Unless we want our churches to bear the burden of a pastor’s strained marriage—or the wreckage of a broken marriage—it would be wise for leaders to periodically consider the pain points and ask a few questions:

Continue reading "Remembering the Pastor’s Spouse"...

I came across an interesting article the other day—one that I think captures a brief but powerful case study of the importance of mentoring in terms of personal and spiritual growth. Here’s an excerpt:

Every morning, Devin Hester receives an inspirational text message from his idol and friend, Deion Sanders. Hester certainly needed encouragement following the death of former Miami Hurricanes teammate Sean Taylor.

Hester … attended Taylor’s funeral Monday in Miami. Sanders came to practice Tuesday, preparing for his sideline coverage of the upcoming Bears-Redskins game. But Sanders also made himself available in case Hester needed more support.

“When he’s dealing with something that’s heavy on his heart, he’ll send me a text,” Sanders said. “He sent me a text last week telling me it was hard to come to practice knowing Sean would never be at practice again.”

If you’re confused by some of the names and terms here, let me explain. This excerpt was originally published in the Chicago Tribune. It refers to a unique relationship that has developed between two of the most exciting players to set foot in the National Football League during the last 20 years: Devin Hester and Deion “Prime Time” Sanders.

If you’re not a football fan, I’ll let you know that Sanders is a retired NFL legend known for his extreme speed and flamboyant style. Hester is a young player—currently finishing his second season with the Chicago Bears—who electrified fans by setting an NFL record for return touchdowns in 2006, his rookie year.

As a rookie, Hester mentioned in an interview that he had idolized Deion Sanders as a child. Upon hearing this, Sanders contacted the young player and took him under his wing, so to speak. They have enjoyed a close relationship ever since.

With that in mind, take another look at the newspaper excerpt above. Here are some things that stood out to me:

Continue reading "Deion Sanders, Devin Hester, and Mentoring"...

Last spring a man came to see me. It was the beginning of Lent, the original “40 Days of Purpose-Filled Repentance.”

“Pastor,” he said, “I want to confess my sins.” And in tears, he spoke honestly and openly about the sin in his life—nothing illegal, most known only to him, yet serious, and he was serious about turning away from it. We talked and prayed together, and he left.

Forty days later, he came back. “How are you doing?” I asked. “How is God at work in your life?”

He looked down. “I haven’t made much progress,” he admitted. “I still struggle with what we talked about before.”

As I watched a tear slowly trickle down the center of his cheek, I saw in his agony a question I’ve often asked: “Why does sin so stubbornly remain in our lives? He and I both want to change more than we have and more than we do. How come?”

I’ve heard many answers, ranging from “You just haven’t gotten serious enough about turning away from your sin,” (which doesn’t always seem the case) to “You need an experience of greater or entire sanctification,” to “You need an accountability partner,” to “You need to let go and let God.” All helpful, to a point, but they didn’t seem to pastorally fit this man hunched over in front of me.

As church leaders, we work with people feeling overcome by persistent sin—and we experience that in our own lives. What help or counsel should we give, starting with ourselves?

During the summer, I read several books, and unexpectedly, they spoke to this question. Their answer was not what I expected; in fact, it was the opposite of what I expected.

Continue reading "Why Does Sin Remain in My Life?"...

My wife and I read Psalm 74 last night. It was a strange choice—a break from Advent passages about anticipating Christ’s coming. One particular phrase lodged itself in our minds: “Have regard for your covenant, for the dark places of the land are full of the haunts of violence.”

Our minds went first to Rwanda, a country that lives in the shadow of a genocide that killed nearly a million people. My wife, Stephanie, spent time living in Rwanda. She understands better than most the cry for God that goes up from people who are weary of violence. It is a cry that goes up from Darfur and Sudan, Yugoslavia, Kashmir, and many other places. This week, it is a cry that goes up close to home—from Colorado.

Continue reading "Comfort in a Time of Despair"...

“Mentoring,” says the late Fred Smith Sr. in his book Leading with Integrity, “is back in favor again, like a wonderful old story that hasn’t been told for so long it sounds new.”

Then he succinctly explains the danger of that dynamic.

“In some ways it has taken on the characteristics of a fad; if too much is expected too soon, it will fail.”

Much like Smith, I have listened in recent years to the growing chorus of voices insisting younger people like me need a mentor, an individual who can listen and provide sage wisdom to me in my faith, my marriage, my parenting, my career, and my leadership. Almost all of those messages have come at me as I sit in the pews of the churches I’ve attended. Unfortunately, none of these churches effectively found ways to orchestrate meaningful mentoring relationships between older and younger congregants.

It’s a question I’ve chewed on in recent months as I begin the journey of finding a mentor in my own life. How can churches help people connect in ways that lead to mentoring relationships? I fear we lose an opportunity to recover a once-prized practice if, as Smith asserts, our talk doesn’t translate into results.

For mentoring to work, the message, and supporting environment, must be intentionally focused on building a culture of mentorship. I’m not suggesting churches play the role of matchmaker, arbitrarily pairing people up and hoping they become tight-knit confidantes. That’s absurd. But most of the current formula isn’t working.

Continue reading "Create a Culture of Mentorship"...

Let me begin with a simple, wonderfully freeing premise: You do not need to know everything.

A few short generations ago, it could rightly be said, Information Is Power. That was true when there wasn't enough of it. Today, the motto should read: Information Is Fatigue. We get too much information, and a high percentage of that information is inane, meaningless, enervating. Do I really need to know whom Britney Spears is dating?

Writes Richard Saul Wurman, in Information Anxiety 2 (Que, 2001): "Information was once a sought-after and treasured commodity like a fine wine. Now, it's regarded more like crabgrass, something to be kept at bay."

No, information alone is no longer power. What is power is the right information, a limited amount of information—the information you need, when you need it.

Continue reading "How Leaders Can Survive Information Overload"...

"Micah 7:8-9 is a picture of what you say to your enemy when he scoffs at your defeat. I call this practice 'gutsy guilt.' The believer admits that he has done wrong and that God is dealing roughly with him. But even in a condition of darkness and discipline, he will not surrender his hold on the truth that God is on his side. Pay close attention to these amazing words. Use them whenever Satan tempts you to throw away your life on trifles because that's all you're good for.

Micah 7:8-9 is what victory looks like the morning after failure. Learn to take your theology and speak like this to the Devil or anyone else who tells you that Christ is not capable of using you mightily for his global cause."

--John Piper, from his article, "Gutsy Guilt," in the October 2007 edition of Christianity Today. To read the entire article, click here.

What tools have you found useful to maintain your sexual integrity?

As I prepared to leave for a recent speaking engagement, I realized how tired I was, how desperate I was for my own experience of intimacy with God, and how much I needed the very things I would be guiding others into on that day. After 25 years of life in ministry, I had learned to pay attention to such inner dynamics and knew better than to wait for a better time. I packed a simple bag, made overnight arrangements as I drove to the retreat I was leading, and left right from the speaking engagement to enter into 24 hours of silent retreat. That choice alone changed the tenor of the whole week and the whole month that followed.

One of the most important rhythms of my life as a person in ministry is a constant back and forth motion between times when I am engaged in the battle, giving my best energy to taking the next hill and times of retreat when I am not “on” and I do not have to be any particular way for anyone. Times when I can be in God’s presence for my own soul’s sake.

A sobering truth about life in leadership is that we can be very busy and look very important, yet be out of touch with that place in the center of our being where we know who we are in God and what he has called us to do—that place where we are responsive to the voice of God above all others.

Continue reading "Before Ministry Life Burns You Out"...

“Make a mental switch on the way home. If that’s not possible, give your family a signal when you’ve shaken off the day and are home at last. Take a shower, change your clothes, or even wait to drop the tie until you’re ready to be mentally present with your family.”

—Marshall Shelley, from the article “Winning the War for Family Time,” in the Building Church Leaders Assessment Pack, "Time Management."